Where *not* to put fireworks

Boy do we have fun!

Of course sticking burning crackers up your nose sober is like ...
... fishing ..... sober.

Note the blue aura surrounding the fire, unlike those seen in the northern hemisphere.
Much like the direction water goes down the plug hole ....
we have Aurora Borealis, and they get snow for christmas ... etc.
(Actual technical explanation withheld due to export regulations)

Enough of this foolishness, take me home.